the alpha person's cocktail party

forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been a year since I last posted a blog.

Last night, I went to a batmitzvah celebration for an old friend's daughter. Just to explain. My friend is beautiful, kind, a PHd university lecturer, has a great marriage with 2 lovely children and does yoga every wednesday in her home with several other equally lovely professional women. She is married to a high flying corporate executive who occasionally cycles the 22 mile round trip to his workplace just to be sure he can, is equally bright and still has friends from university. They display the tiniest bit of smugness when there's a full moon.

I sat next to some old friends whom I always meet at these occasions. One has directed plays at one of London's top theatres, and his partner a TV producer. The other has been a businessman in Japan and who's wife is a poet. They are all attractive, intelligent, and self assured.

I did not mention I had been in the same job nearly 15 years and spend each morning listening to self hypnosis tapes on the train which tell me I am competent, successful and happy. I also did not tell them I possess at least half a dozen laughing buddhas for good luck, let my window stay unfixed for a year and find it difficult not to click on an internet dating account I closed a year ago when I get a message saying someone has looked at my profile.

I did though have a good time. Success is somewhat infectious when accompanied by a glass of pink champagne and chocolate volcanos.

best questions posted on answers sites

These are some of my favourites:

1. Did women play professional sport before tampons were invented?

link to page

2. how does sex work from start to finnish? (verynicely thank you if you're in lapland??)

3. How much money would 20 British pounds in 1702 be in U.S. dollars today? (why did they want to know? but someone really sweet and kind did answer, pointing out that the US didn't actually exist in 1702. link to page

4. Did Tony Soprano die? (Ask Jeeves 10th anniversary set up a site with top ten best unanswerable questions. some nice answers, especially to the what is the meaning of life one see questions

5. What is more fattening mustard or bananas?

Which of the two is healthier? Which one is better to prevent cramps for sports? (I suggest mustard with bananas might be best, force fed while wearing wincyette pyjamas perhaps see question

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An End to Procrastination?

Whey hey hey! I've got the answer to end my predicament! Sitting in front of the window here looking at the rain plop over my newly planted pansies, I think I can truly end my procrastination malady! Lifecoachselfhelpsupportnetworkography. It's a bit like Mary Poppins, if you say it fast enough, click your heels together three times and wish for [insert something here] then it'll come. I'm not demeaning all this stuff. Far from it. I believe it. I want to believe it and I want to be a CEO of a big organisation with four children and a house in hampstead, and a tall ravishing husband who makes me muffins for breakfast.
If I listen enough to all the videos on youtube and download enough self hypnosis tapes then I might get there. It's already working! I had two chance meetings with eligible men yesterday. Both led to nothing, but hey, it's a start. I met a friend of friend, didn't recognise him, mistook his irish accent for an american one and scowled at him. Then someone chatted me up in the library, by the poetry section. He liked Marvel, and I liked Wendy Cope. Are poetry sections popular for type of thing now? I have suspicions he may have been a biscuit short of a selection pack, but who cares. When he kept repeating he had an English degree I believed him. He was good looking. Perhaps my positive affirmations over the past few days have worked. Friend M says I must be sending out positive vibes. Perhaps since I hadn't brushed my hair that day I looked like I was ready for a roll in the hay?

I think it's time I searched for a book online 'wishcraft'. No. It's a real one. I've subscribed to it and really really will read it.
Really. have a nice day y'all.

The Wishing Tree

Sometimes you come across something or someone special, but perfect for the moment. Went for a lovely walk today on hampstead heath. It was the sort of day that takes you back in time. breath that puffs out, birds that skidded on the frozen ponds, and sunshine that blasts so loud on the trees it's like they're communicating somehow.


At one point we came across a fenced off part, beyond a thicket where you could see Kenwood House pale yellow in the sunshine, looking like a little miniature surrounded by bramble.



We walked in and came upon this tree. Just a normal tree with lowish branches growing almost horizontally, and buds just beginning to open. but to it were attached all sorts of things. curios -
A bit of a summer silk scarf. A pock mark shaped stone hung with a ribbon. a ticket, on which several 'wishes' were written, a feather and a blue, unopened rose.




The rose looked like it came from a fairytale. Blueish, unreal, like someone had been there before and poured out their wishes on it for the new year. A rose for love, a stone to keep us grounded, a silk scarf to remind us to be light and the feather that we can sometimes fly. And the wishes - they were written on the baggage tickets hung on the branches. They wished for love without jealousy, an end to war, and we couldn't read the rest. Perhaps that space was for us. I'd like to think of it as my new year wishing tree to fill.

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Happy New Year

new years. new beginnings. And the chance to text as many people as you can and connect with them again. But make sure you don't have much to say!

new year round here was pretty quiet but lovely. Had some people round and had a lovely time. Just playing board games, drinking good champagne (thanks M.!) and eating lots of chocolates. we did a bit of gurning too, ie contorting our faces into ugly representations of ourselves. Why? is there some deep meaning for this? no.

the sky is blue, the sun is shining and there's a light dusting of snow on the ground.
Onward and upward.